Lindsay Makes A Funny

Love, love, love this Funny or Die video of Lindsay Lohan's mock eHarmony profile. It's hilar. But....she doesn't look great does she? She's got the dead (aka messed up) eyes. Still, it's pretty funny.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Ronson & Lindsay Post-Breakup Report

Rumors abound that Sam Ronson has a new squeeze, lending credence to Lindsay Lohan's claims that the DJ cheated on her. Word is the new lady is "somewhat of a Lindsay look-alike, but with very dark hair," according to sources. A Ronson insider reports the woman's name is "Cindy" and she was seen was seen coming out of Ronson's Los Angeles home on Sunday.

Isn't it funny how Samantha Ronson's stock has risen? I know SO many women who have crushes on her. I'm sure she won't have any trouble finding a date.

Lindsay, on the other hand, has reportedly been out of control. Sources say she's been partying non-stop, guzzling vodka, incoherent and partying until the morning. So, while mama Dina has flown in to be by her side - it's not doing any good. A former Lohan assistant says that Dina is trying to get Linds back into rehab or at the very least couseling.

Lindsay Lohan Opens Up...To Tabloid

Wow. It really looks like things are spinning out of control for Lindsay Lohan. Samantha Ronson finally broke up with her, her family is seriously considering getting a restraining order against her - and to add insult to injury, Linds is stuck with her mom and sister at Chateau Marmont and Daddy Michael is on his way to be with her! Ew.

Not surprisingly, she's freaking out. Lindsay has reached out to US Weekly to tell her story. US claims they didn't pay Lohan to tell her side of the story.

In the newest issue of Us Weekly, Lindsay Lohan opens up about her heartbreaking split from Samantha Ronson, the "humiliating" weekend showdown with Ronson's family, and says that friends' fears she is suicidal are unfounded.

"It's absolute hell," Lohan told Us on Monday in a far-ranging interview over several lengthy phone calls and emails where she was both agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events.

Ronson broke it off with her girlfriend of nearly two years last Friday, and hired five security guards to keep Lohan out of an afterparty for her sister Charlotte at the Chateau Marmont.

"The worst night of my life," Lohan -- who was staying directly one floor above the Ronsons with her mom Dina and sister Ali -- tells Us.

The next day, Ronson changed the locks on the Hollywood Hills home she shared with Lohan. On Monday, Ronson's mom and sister asked police about obtaining a restraining order against Lohan, Beverly Hills Sgt. Nutall confirms to Us.

See what a body language expert says about Sam and Lindsay's relationship.

"I'm not a bad person and this is what happens," Lohan told Us through tears. "I was raised to treat people well, and I'm so tired of this drama."

Lohan says she's "so alone" without Ronson.

"Everyone's turned on me," says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said "Uck," and Drea De Matteo said, "Come at me, bitch."

"I'm a f--king 22-year-old girl who's in love," she says. "I felt like I was in Mean Girls, but worse: Mean Girls was a movie."

See photos of Hollywood stars who actually get along.

Sources tell the magazine Ronson had repeatedly tried to break up with Lohan over the past month, but each time, "Lindsay threatens to kill herself -- she cares about her but wants out."

Lohan laughs upon hearing that, saying she's okay.

"I'm just really hurt!" she says. "The whole situation is sick."

Lindsay Lohan Joins Lily Allen

Last night Lily Allen performed in LA. Her friend Lindsay Lohan joined her onstage for her performance of Britney Spears, "Womanizer."


Note that Allen didn't let Linds sing. She also didn't really seem to want her out there with her, turning her back on Linds while she stood there, not quite sure what to do. Awkward!

Lindsay Lohan: WANTED

The Beverly Hills Police Department today issued this statement:

"In response to media inquiries, [the] Beverly Hills Police Department is confirming a warrant was in fact issued for the arrest of Lindsay Lohan. The $50,000 warrant issued by the Beverly Hills Superior Court stems from a May 2007 arrest of Miss Lohan for DUI and hit-and-run. The circumstances leading to the issuance of the warrant by the court are not readily available at this time. It is our hope that Miss Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter will be resolved in a timely manner."

She's so f*cked.

Linds & Sam's Weekly Break-Up

According to British sources, Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan broke up (again) on Sunday night in London. It's become a weekly thing!

A source tells Britain's The London Paper, "Lindsay was crying in the bathroom, although Samantha didn't look too bothered, and continued playing away on her guitar.

"When Sam attempted to leave, Lindsay really started to go for it.

"She chased after Sam shouting: ‘Where the f*ck are you going? I can't believe you've just brought me to this skanky place and then dumped me. Every fucking weekend you break up with me by text message - How do you think this makes me feel?

"'And you left me crying on the bathroom floor on my own. You got me into this fucking mess. It's all because of you. Happy f***ing anniversary Samantha!'."

Sam then screamed back, "Yeah, happy f***ing anniversary Linds!"

The source continued, "Lindsay looked a mess – she had make-up running down her face. She seemed unwell and was really skinny."

Lilo Messed Up?

OMG - how messed up does Lindsay Lohan seem in this video?!?!?!
http://vids.eonline.com/services/link/bcpid1396519019/bctid13930950001

Losing Lindsay

Looks as though everything is catching up with Lindsay. Her rep would like us to believe that stress and a diet of "red bull and candy" have given her back her skeletal frame. Much more believable sources whisper about her hard partying life and drug use. But her rep insists that Linds just did a photo shoot and ate "two full meals!"

You have to feel sorry for her reps, don't you?

Lilo Out With Sean Penn Again??

This is the second time Sean Penn has supposedly been seen with Lindsay Lohan. WTF?! Why would he be seen in public with her?!?!

LINDSAY Lohan left her constant companion Samantha Ronson at home the other night to hang with Sean Penn. He and Lohan went to Nobu in West Hollywood, reports Celebuzz.com. Later, Page Six sources said the pair - who were spotted together all over Manhattan last month - went to newly reopened club Guy's. Ronson and Lohan have been fighting for weeks, and as one tipster told us, "Sam broke up with Lindsay but she is completely in denial about it."
(Soure: Page Six)

Lindsay & Sam: Still Together.

I know it's important that we all have up to the minute Lindsay & Samantha relationship status updates. Luckily, Lindsay keeps us updated through her blog. They're NOT broken up, ya'll!


"RUMORS

little piece of TRUE information:

we did NOT break up!

access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six… AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It's really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc… NOT TRUE

:) xoxox Lindsay

Currently listening :
Rumors
By Lindsay Lohan"

Lindsay & Samantha's NYE Blowout

Have you been hearing all about the "nuclear" fights between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson? Man, that flirtation with a comeback in 2008 amounted to ZILCH. According to EVERYONE (except Linds and Sam) she's back on coke in a big way. Remember when I told you last year how Linds was supposedly FURIOUS at a pre-Grammy's party because she hated her dress? Well, apparently it's ALWAYS that way with her. She's always insanely pissed off about something or other.

I think the countdown on this relationship has officially started. Anyone want to venture a guess on how much longer it'll last?

Here's the two before things went "nuclear."


THE thaw in the relationship between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson sure didn't last long, with the girlfriends ringing in the new year with a nasty fistfight.

Trouble started Tuesday night as the two partied at Set in Miami. "Both their families were there, and Lindsay and Sam just started going at it," our spy said.

Then, on New Year's Eve, the couple went nuclear and started screaming at each other while hosting a party at Mansion. The fight spilled out into an alley behind the club, where Lohan screeched at Ronson, "When I storm off, you are supposed to follow me!"

Our spy said, "It was a really gross alley. There was a bum eating a sandwich watching the whole thing. Lindsay was really unstable and flipping out."

After Lohan and Ronson went back to the hotel, several sources heard crashing sounds and screaming coming from their room until the fight spilled out into the hallways at about 11 a.m.

"They were punching each other - it was bad," a spy said. "And they were doing this in front of all of us. It was scary."

At one point, Lohan dropped to her knees and cried, "Why are you doing this to me?" And Sam just said, "I don't know you."

Eventually hotel security was called and photos were taken of the girls' "trashed" room. "Mirrors were broken and it was a complete mess," another spy said.

Several hours later, still fighting, Lohan and Ronson tried to board an American Airlines flight back to Los Angeles. Lohan was said to be such a mess before takeoff that flight attendants asked her if she'd like to disembark. She refused.

A rep for Lohan said, "There was an argument - I don't know the details - but they left for LA together and it's fine."

(Source: Page Six)

Sam Ronson "Exhausted?"

Hmmm....I think maybe Sam and Linds have been partying a little too hard lately. Everyone knows "exhaustion" is code for strung out. Put down the coke and stay home a few nights, girls.


Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend, celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson is suffering from exhaustion and depression Life and Style reported Sunday.

"She's been suffering from depression and from lack of food and sleep,” an insider told Life and Style. “Gal pal Lindsay Lohan has been helping her through this as she has been through this herself two years ago."

The magazine reported that Samantha Ronson, a Hollywood-based disc jockey who’s most famous for her same-sex relationship with Lohan, was struggling with exhaustion and stress.

Ronson’s brother Mark is a famous music producer and her sister Charlotte is a famous fashion designer.

During this recent bout with stress, depression and exhaustion, Ronson has been surrounded by friends, family and Lohan, according to sources.

Lohan’s rep did not comment on Ronson’s condition.
(Source: She Wired)

Tara Reid In Rehab...Finally

"Tara Reid has checked herself into Promises Treatment Center. We appreciate your respect to her and her family's privacy at this time," the hasbeen's rep says.

What took so long?

Lindsay & Sean? Lindsay Afraid Of Nordstrom?

Interesting...

Page Six is reporting that Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn innocently discussed working together in a movie. WHY?! Why would Sean Penn want to do a movie with LiLo? She's back to her trainwreck ways. I think it's more likely that Sean and Linds did some blow and got it on together, don't you? Especially after reading this:

(photo: Chismetime.com)
Lindsay Lohan made an in store appearance at the Grove Nordstrom last night to promote her leggings line 6126. According to Chismetime.com, Lilo was even more of a disaster than usual.

Perhaps it was the low turnout that set her on a slide. Apparently there were only 60 people present (half were staff) and if fans wanted to meet her, they had to spend a minimum of $150 for the privilege of a styling opportunity with Miss Crank herself.

Unfortunately, mid way through the event, Lilo decided she couldn’t handle it anymore – “she was feeling very fragile” …which means she needed a bump. So they took her round back and by this point it was now two hours on that the remaining few fans (out of like only two dozen) had been waiting for a moment with her, and they were told they’d have to mind themselves and stay chill because Lindsay was feeling “nervous and scared”.

From what???

All of a sudden she had to leave. Security surrounded her, protecting her from the super dangerous Nordstrom employees and the five remaining fans hoping to meet her, and ushered her from behind velvet curtains into a waiting car.

Um. Who’s a paranoid freak?

You know what makes people paranoid freaks?

Yeah.

Drugs.
(Source: Laineygossip.com)

Mischa Barton Shunned In Dubai

Love, love, love the Mischa Barton hate-on that Lainey harbors. Totally deserved!

Over the weekend in Dubai it was definitely Mischa Barton. Things weren’t looking so good before she broke my arm and they’ve only taken a turn for the worse since.

Mischa was able to tag along to the Atlantis Hotel opening with designer Matthew Williamson who quickly learned his mistake because by the end the weekend, he literally wanted nothing to do with her.

Am told by sources that on Saturday night at Nobu, Mischa was shunned by everyone there, including Matthew who’d been informed that he was risking his own status by associating with her. To add insult to injury, she was so f-cked out of her mind that they actually asked her to leave, escorting her out of the restaurant while everyone watched and laughed.

Not even Lindsay Lohan had time for her, and at one point, Mary Kate Olsen tried to run away from her but she wasn’t stealth enough. Mischa could be seen chasing behind.

Hollywood is SO Mean Girls, it’s amazing.

Oh and you know she turned down the Georgina part on Gossip Girl, right? She thought she was above it.

My arm has almost completely healed.
(Source: Lainey Gossip)

Lindsay & Sam In Therapy?

Lilo and Sam have been fighting everywhere and Page Six is saying they're in couples couseling. I don't think anyone cares.

THE most talked-about twosome in Hollywood are talking with a couples counselor to resolve their escalating problems, an insider told Page Six.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson "are fighting like cats and dogs," according to our source. "They fight every day, screaming, crying and yelling at each other.

"Sam and Lindsay are still very much together and very much in love, but drama just seems to follow Lindsay, and Sam hates it. She deals with Lindsay every day. And every day for Sam means questioning, 'Is this worth it?' "

Page Six spies saw Lohan and Ronson get into a spat outside of Citrine on West 21st Street recently, and the London Sun published details of a explosive argument this week outside Boujis in London, where Ronson was deejaying. The paper reported "all hell broke loose" and the the screaming match ended with Lohan "in tears."

On Nov. 4, a video posted online showed Lohan, 22, snapping at Ronson, 31, to "pull the car up, Sam" in front of a slew of fotogs. "Lindsay is high-maintenance and a lot to deal with," another insider divulged. "And Sam has always dealt with her. But it isn't easy."

Lohan - who insists she is not a lesbian despite her relationship with Ronson - "will go straight back to guys" if she and Ronson do split, said one source. Rumors of her flirting with Chase Crawford and her ex-boyfriend Calum Best add fuel to the combustible situation.

"The things they argue about have to do with their age difference," said our insider. "But no matter what happens, at the end of the day, they are always fine."

A rep for Lohan said only that she's unaware of any therapy sessions.
(Source: Page Six)

Lindsay On Access Hollywood - You Decide

OMG! Lindsay Lohan looks AWFUL. The dirty face is back, she was twitchy....that's what happens, ya know?


Thoughts?

Fueding Around LiLo

Lindsay Lohan has become boring for me again.

THE bitterness between Joe Francis and Samantha Ronson that erupted at the VMA Awards last month is getting worse. On today's "Tyra Banks Show," the "Girls Gone Wild" czar calls Lindsay Lohan's deejay girlfriend "very jealous. Samantha tried to start a fight with me. I care about Lindsay - she's not gay. She's being controlled by this . . . wretched woman, this Samantha." Told by Page Six of Francis' cracks, Ronson fumed: "I think he's one of the more disgusting human beings in the world because of what he does . . . He's a [bleep]bag." Ronson says when Francis approached their table during a VMA party, "He said hello to Lindsay and looked over at me as if I wasn't a human being. He's got no manners." On her blog a few weeks back, Lohan ranted, "Joe Francis has no place in saying anything about Samantha . . . especially after all the [bleep] he has done." Ronson told us: "He should find something else to talk about."
(Source: Page Six)

Michael Lohan: I Was Wrong

Michael Lohan is apologizing for calling Sam Ronson "disgusting." Says he's learned his lesson on airing his family's dirty laundry to the media and he's going to keep his mouth shut.

Riiiiiight.
(This is me, dying laughing. Whatever you say, Mr. Lohan!)


Lindsay Lohan's father has apologized for criticizing her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, in the media.

In September, Michael Lohan called Ronson a "dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity."

But he now insists he regrets making the comments - and has promised to keep his family matters private.

He says, "I definitely regret all the things I said about Samantha.

"I'm a Christian. I should not pass judgment on anyone.

"In the past, I felt that the best way to get to Lindsay was to speak out publicly.

"And it was the wrong choice. Family matters should be kept private.

"I've learned that now."(Source: Showbiz Spy)

Lindsay Lohan Still Likes Guys

Who doesn't think that the next person Lindsay dates after she and Sam Ronson break up will be a guy?!

Lindsay Lohan insists she still loves men - despite the fact she has been in a relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson for months.

Lohan recently said she had been dating Ronson for a "long time" - but according to Hollywood insiders, the Mean Girls star isn't a lesbian.

One said, "Lindsay is adamant she's not a lesbian and still loves men. She says Sam is the only girl she would go for.

"She seems to be slinking back into the closet."

A friend of the star added, "She has been telling everyone she's still into guys.

"She keeps saying if it went wrong with Sam she'd date a guy.

"She even flirts with guys when they go out."

(Source: Showbiz Spy)