Jessica Simpson: Who Will Help Her?

Ah hahahahahahahahaha!!!!! HA HA HA! hahahahahahahaha..... deep breath.....giggle, giggle, breath.

Pause.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

You know the photo.

The Classic Jessica Simpson High Waisted Photo.

It made our lives.

It continues to make our lives. On a rainy day. If work is the sh-ts. If your mother won’t get off your ass about sending her to Vegas for her birthday…

There’s Porny in her pants giving us a reason to live again.

And she just keeps giving.

Jessica Simpson has a lovely body. It’s delicious. But she can’t dress for her body.

The result?

Unflattering but hilarious. HILARIOUS.

Check out Porny at some chili corndog country fair yesterday in Florida, still working that country album, bless her, singing her heart out and proudly flaunting her double animal print belt.

My husband has been photo editing all morning and he can’t stop. He can’t stop laughing. These pictures have become his go-to punchline. Like he’s sitting on the couch crying from the giggles. Like once in a while we’ll look at each and lose our sh-t.

It’s SO mean, yes.

I am a terrible friend, yes. She needs me more than ever, yes. BeJessicasFriend.com is alive and well, yes.

But come on.

How is this not the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?

How does this not make your week? How does this not make your month?

Recession blues?

Porny blues! Porny high waisted, too tight blues! Porny stuffed sausage! Porny pigs fighting under a tight blanket!

Porny needs us!!!
(Source: Laineygossip.com)