Happy &*% Holidays Stories

Thank you to everyone who submitted their holiday stories to me! There were some really good ones. I picked the three I liked best and now you need to tell me which one you think is the very best. Leave a comment here with your pick. I'll tally them up at 3pm CST New Years Day and announce the winner!

The Christmas Bong

Oh where to begin. This year my husband's cousin Amanda and her husband Nick were invited to an Ugly Christmas Sweater Christmas Party. The party was a church group gathering. Nick and Amanda are VERY involved w/ their church and church activities. They spend several days a week worshipping the Lord and they are sweet fun people.

The party had 2 activities planned. First the ugly sweater contest and second, a white elephant gag gift exchange. While at the salvation army thrift store searching for their ugly sweaters, Amanda eyed a blue statue of a funny faced guy w/ his tongue out. For $2 she thought it was the perfect gag gift for the party.

Party night arrives and imagine their shock when the the funny gift is opened to silence and then a mans voice says " Is that a bong?" A water bong to be exact and they just gave it as a gift in front of all the church group.

To add to this, Nick is a customs agent at the airport and had no idea. Amanda laughed and played along until someone explained to her what a bong was!



Four Christmases

Well, my husband and i got married last year, and this memory takes place during the Christmas that immediately preceded the wedding. It started out nice enough, trying to get to my mothers house, then my dads house, then my grandmas house, and then my fiance's parents in time for dinner. We finally showed up at his parents house a little worse for the wear because, it being the holidays we were trying to appease everyone, and doing a very poor job of it.

I should probably tell you at this point that my parents hate each other to the extent that they cant be in the same room with one another, let alone knowing that the kids are leaving them to go to the next ones home. and my grandmother dislikes them both at the moment, therefore insisting that we come up to her place as well. Mind you, its a little over an hours drive to each place.

Well, we get to the soon to be in-laws house, and its the usual commotion, my fiance was going to do the turkey, but his mom had already started the other stuff. Finally we could relax a little bit and let the spirit of Christmas wash over us. Not to be... we sat down to dinner with his whole family, aunts uncles grandparents and all, gave thanks and dug in.

At this point his parents stand up, flushed with what we thought was happiness and announced "Kids, we're getting a divorce." My husband immediately started choking while i sat there frozen in shock. Divorced? i mean they've been together for 30 years!! woah... did not see that one coming. being a product of divorce as a child (my mother is on her 7th husband, kid you not).

Unfortunately that wasn't the only bomb they wanted to drop, they went on to ask if we might postpone the wedding so that they could take care of it so that his father could bring a date!! luckily my wonderful husband found his voice (and regained regular breathing) to tell them no, we would not postpone the wedding, as the invitations had just been sent and it was a little over two months away. Furthermore, how dare they throw this at us right before such a huge undertaking? He went on to state that he loved me and now he wanted to permanently have me in his life more than ever.

Although it was a sad time in the life of our new family, i will never forget the way my husband stood up for us and proved that real and true love do still exist.



Rock Band Christmas

My Grandmother's last Christmas with us will always hold a special place in my heart for obvious reasons! However there is a funny story to go with it too... My Grandmother was suffering from Alzheimer's Disease and it was really getting longer in between moments of lucidity. She still insisted on buying all 9 of her grandchildren Christmas gifts by herself. Her companion took her out one afternoon and they went Christmas shopping. Well, on Christmas Eve we all got our presents... the 5 girls got banjos and the 4 boys got drums. All from the kids section of the DOLLAR STORE! LMAO. Let me add to this I was 27 years old at the time - we were all adults! I guess she happened to be stuck in past the day she went shopping for all of us.